Not Goodbye
by BrigitteRenee
Summary: Catherine has to tell Steve that she is leaving for the gulf.


Not Goodbye

Steve and Catherine

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Catherine dreaded this moment, she stood in Steve's office and waited for him to return from his latest case dealing with the death of a diver. She was too nervous to sit down, so she continued to pace back and forth. She saw Steve arrive with the new member of his team and she was unwilling to admit that she was jealous of her. Here she was leaving for who knows how long and Steve has a younger, prettier, model type right here in Hawaii, who clearly was infatuated with him. She couldn't compete with that, she just couldn't. She turned her back on the scene not wanting to witness the start of his next relationship while hers fell apart.

She heard him open the door before she saw him; she slowly turned to face him. He looked more handsome now than he was when she first met him. She remembered that day like it was yesterday. They met while running the obstacle course during free time. She was a plebe and he was third class. He had just passed her on the course when he noticed that she was struggling with part of the course. When she finished the course she saw him waiting there at the end and he had decided to give her some advice. She hadn't taken it well, but after he found her in the library and continued to work at the same table and offering her advice, she broke down and they continued to spend time together and eventually became friends.

"You look a little overdressed for dinner?" He smiled at her.

God, how she hated to be the one to take that smile of his face. "I'm going to need a rain check. I got a call this morning and I'm heading to the gulf tonight." She looked in his eyes and saw the disappointment.

He stepped forward and pulled her into a hug. "Well you are going to get some leave in the next few months. What do you say about me flying out to see you half way? Maybe Mumbai?"

She was going to make some comment about liking Indian food, but instead decided to pull him in for a kiss. She didn't care that Steve wasn't a fan of PDA; that comment right there took away any doubts that she had about the state of their relationship or lack thereof. He was willing to wait months to see her when he had someone right here and willing; someone who could make a commitment to him that wasn't going to have to wait months to only see her for two days.

She felt one hand on the back of her head and the other around her hips pulling her closer. She drew back for air, and looked up at him. "Hey Sailor what do you say to making this a long goodbye; I'm already packed up and my stuff is in those duffle bags sitting by the door?"

He kissed her again "That Lieutenant sounds like a great plan. I'll grab the bags and we better get going. How much time do we have?"

"T minus 5 hours till take off."

He picked up the bags and headed out the door "Let's go. We have limited time and I need to make sure that I leave a lasting impression, so we can both get through these next few months of sexual frustration without each other." They passed Danny and Lori on the way out. Steve looked at them "I'll be off the grid for the rest of the night. Don't call me."

Steve pulled her to the truck; he threw both the bags in the bed of the truck and she slid into the passenger seat. He must have broken every speed limit to make it home, but when he pulled in they both jumped out and rushed to the house. As soon as the door slammed shut she was pushed up against it and his mouth was on hers, she felt his hands frantically feeling for the buttons, so she pushed him back.

"There is no way in Hell I am going to let you destroy this uniform when I need to wear it in a few hours." She quickly undid the buttons on her shirt and pants before taking them off and throwing them over the chair near the door. Steve was naked when she looked up and he quickly pushed her back up against the door and lifted her legs up to wrap up around his hips. "Oh God Steve."

About 15minutes later he carried her up the stairs and threw her down on the bed. She thought that he would come to lay next to her, but she soon felt him kissing her way up her thigh. "Steeeeeve."

He looked up at her and smirked "Do you want me to stop?"

"Hell no. Don't stop."

They went several more rounds before they fell asleep. She woke up and looked at the clock to see that it was only 15:30 so they still had about an hour until they had to leave. Steve was still asleep next to her so she decided to give him a good memory of his last time waking up with her before her leave. Once her mouth touch him, he woke up and his hands went to her hair. "Cath, mmm, you don't need to do this."

She didn't stop until he finished groaning her name. She wiped off her mouth and then he pulled her up for a kiss. "How was that for a wakeup call Commander?"

"Well at the risk of sounding like a complete sap; anytime waking up with you is the best wakeup call."

She smiled and got up, heading to the bathroom. She looked back at him resting in the bed; "Well, are you going to join me or not?" She laughed as he jumped up and came to join her in the bathroom.

She was running down the stairs forty minutes later to pull on her uniform which she left by the door. He met her by the door and they went out to the truck. Steve drove with his hand on her thigh and kept looking at her. He stopped at Kamekona's Shrimp Truck on the way and grabbed them both food and some waters. She ate her double order of spicy shrimp and watched Steve as he drove. While most people would be taking in the final views of paradise before heading off to the desert, but she would rather watch Steve, trying to take in one last view of him before she went months without seeing him.

He looked over and saw her staring "Taking in the view"

"Well it's got to hold me over until Mumbai." He just held her hand in response.

They arrived on base and Steve walked with her to the hanger near where the plane was waiting. She took off her cover when they stepped in the building. He pulled her to him and kissed her passionately. "Got to hold us over until Mumbai, right?" He brushed a tear away from her eyes while his own seemed to cloud up with unshed tears.

"I'll miss you, Steve."

"I'll miss you too, Catherine. You will email me as soon as you get the dates for you leave."

She kissed him one last time "Anything you say Commander."

"Keep safe Lieutenant."

"You too, sailor." And then she boarded the plane.

Three Months Later:

She made her way out into the crowded and humid airport trying to look over the crowd of people to see if she could see Steve. In their last email he had told her that he would be there on a flight several hours before hers. She saw him leaning against a pillar; he spotted her right after she saw him and they both moved towards each other. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her deeply. "Mmm. Got to love those cammies."

"You would be the only guy who gets turned on by BDUs." He picked up both their bags and headed outside with her to hail a cab to the hotel that he booked for them. Luckily check in was quick and she pulled him into the elevator. No one else was in there so she pushed him up against wall after hitting their floor number. She kissed him deeply and toyed with the edge of his shirt. "You're not the only one that has gone months without. I need you right now."

He started to pull down the zipper of her uniform when the elevator dinged and she pushed off from him, she grabbed her bag off the floor and made her way down the hallway leaving Steve in the elevator looking stunned. She laughed and opened the door and began stripping down. Steve came in and through his bag on the ground slamming the door behind him.

"Where did you get that key?"

She began to pull his shirt off. "You should watch your pockets Commander; pickpockets can be sneaky."

He laughed and threw her over his shoulder carrying her to the bed before he dropped her down on it and climbed over her.

Several hours later they lay next to each other on the bed waiting for room service to arrive. He pushed the hair out of her eyes "I love you."

Her face might have looked surprised for a second, but then she just smiled and replied "I've known that for year, and for the record I love you too, but what made you actually say it today?"

"These past few months have been hell without you, and not just because of the lack of sex, but I have missed you. I got so used to spending all our free time together that when you weren't there I just missed having you there to share all the little moments with; like when Danny adopted a Dog or that I learned that he was claustrophobic."

She pulled him in for a kiss. "I've missed you too. I've been thinking" she started but she was interrupted by a knock at the door. Steve grabbed onto his pants and slid them on. It was room service; he pushed the cart in the door and tipped the waiter before shutting and relocking the door. She pulled on a robe from the bathroom and sat down at the table. He pulled the lids off the serving trays to show Baida roti, Batata vada, Butter chicken and chicken Manchurian.

"It all looks so good. Thank god we got a ton of food because I am starving. You certainly know how to work up my appetite, Commander."

He leaned over the table and kissed her, but she pushed him away. "No, we are eating first because I need to eat if you want me to last the rest of the weekend."

After finishing dinner, she pulled him into the shower where they spent a wonderful thirty minutes doing very little cleaning. The laid back on the bed spooning, getting ready to take a nap. Steve kissed her neck "What were you going to say earlier about what you were thinking about?"

She played with his hand which was wrapped around her waist. "I've been thinking about retiring lately. You know putting down roots."

"Are you looking for my opinion on that because I would love for you to stay in Hawaii, but I'm not going to tell you to give up the Navy. The Navy has been your dream since I've known you and if your parents are telling the truth then it has been your dream since you were a little girl."

She rolled over to look at him. "I love the Navy, but I'm ready to move on with my life. Before I left I talked to my mother and she was reminding me about me not getting any younger and her getting grandkids. Just to clarify, I am not ready to have a baby. But it got me thinking about the future and how I never really have a place to call home; I can't put down any roots out of fear of getting sent off on duty or changing bases. I want to settle down and make a home. I plan on staying for the rest of my tour of duty, but after that I plan on putting in for retirement. I respect your opinion and I really need it right now."

He brushed some hair off of her hair and tucked it behind her ear. "Catherine, I would love for you to live full time on the island, but transitioning from military to civilian life is a big change. I want you to go into this with open eyes. I want to settle down with you and make a home with you, but I can't make that decision for you. It doesn't matter if you are in the Navy for life or become a civilian I will support you no matter what."

"Thank you for supporting me and I am really sure that this is what I want. I'm not sure what I am going to do after, but I have some stuff in the works. Now I want to celebrate my impending retirement, are you up to the task?" She said as she climbed on top of him.

"I'm always up for any task you assign me."

The rest of their weekend was spent in the hotel room only taking breaks for room service.

Two Months Later:

Steve returned from the airport where he dropped Mary off following a crazy case with a diamond heist. He parked his truck and made his way inside. He opened the door and immediately felt that something was off. He pulled out his gun and began to systemically clear the house. He cleared the downstairs and made his way upstairs clearing the three spare bedrooms, finally heading to the master. He slowly opened the door gun drawn and looked down and found Catherine sprawled on the bed still dressed, sleeping holding his pillow. He put back on the safety of his gun, unloaded it and put it in his bedside drawer. He also emptied his pockets and took of his boots before laying down next to her. He pushed her hair off of her face "Catherine, wake up."

She sleepily blinked up and him. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him down to kiss her "I meant to wake back up before you came home. You are back earlier than you used to be."

"We just finished a case and I dropped Mary off at the airport. She was being blackmailed into smuggling diamonds."

"Is everything okay? Do you need to get going again?"

"No, that was the case that we just worked. We proved that she was being used and she is still allowed to keep her job. Now I want to know when you got here?"

"I managed to fly in just a few hours ago. I managed to finish my assignment three days ago and I was reassigned to serve out the rest of my three months here at Pearl before my retirement. I decided to surprise you since I managed to get a flight as soon as the orders came through. Now are you going to say Hello or just sit there and stare."

He rolled them over so he hovering over her, balancing on his forearms. He leaned down to kiss her "Hello." Then he kneeled and started to pull off her BDUs.

The next morning Catherine wakes up to a ringing. "Steve, get your phone." He unwinds an arm from around her waist and picks up his phone.

"Commander McGarrett here."

She can hear Danny on the other line of the phone. "Babe, where the hell are you? I have been trying to reach you for hours; if you hadn't picked up we would have come over to check on you. We have a case."

Steve responds while looking at her, tracing lines across her back "I'm not going to make it in today. Yeah I'm a little busy right now."

"So help me, if you are off on another revenge mission looking for Wo Fat, I will kill you." He rolled his eyes.

"No, this is just a one-day vacation. You will defiantly see me tomorrow." Before Danny could respond he hung up and turned his phone off. He rolled back over and kissed her.

She raised her eyebrows "Just a one-day vacation?"

"Yeah, well now that you are back on the island you are going to be living here so we only need one day to get reacquainted after our separation. Then we will have every night, morning, pretty much any free time that we get to ensure that your ravenous sexual appetite is sated."

"Ohhh and I'm the only one with the ravenous sexual appetite. What about you?"

He ignored her comment and just proceeded to show her just how he was planning on making sure they were both satisfied.

The next day Catherine and Steve both returned to work; she to her new post at Pearl and him back to the Palace. He strode into the office to see that he was the last one there; the rest of the team was standing there going over a map. They looked up when he walked in.

"Well don't you look like the cat who ate the canary. Where the hell were you yesterday?" asked Danny.

"Catch me up on the case."

Danny stared him down "No, you tell me what happened yesterday. I need to know if you did something like going after Wo Fat that could come back to bite us all in the ass."

"Cath surprised me yesterday because she was transferred back from active duty to Pearl."

The team then caught him up on the case and Max's personal connection. Danny and Steve left, in Steve's truck, to go to the Church to do some interviews while Kono and Chin split up to talk to some of the families of the women who were killed.

"Listen, this probably isn't my place, but what is going on with you two? I mean she comes and goes as she pleases. You won't make a commitment. One of you or both of you are going to end of getting hurt."

"You're right. It's not your place. I know that you are just concerned, but you really aren't one to talk about relationship. Cath and I don't have a normal relationship, but that is the military life."

"You aren't in the Navy anymore. What happens when she goes off on another mission? Do you really want someone that you will only see every few months at most? You have passed up a lot of women who are ready to settle down or do you just want to be a bachelor your entire life? I don't want you to wake up someday and realize that you wish you had something more permanent or wish that you had kids. I mean even now; I've seen you look at babies with longing. Is Catherine ready to give you that? Just tell me that you will think about this and I will drop it. You are my best friend and I just don't want you to regret anything later."

"Danny, Cath is retiring once she finishes this tour of duty she has three months left. She will be stationed at Pearl. She already has a job lined up at the FBI here on Hawaii as an analyst, very similar to what she is doing now for the Navy. We have already discussed the future and while we aren't ready for a family yet, we have decided that someday we will be. Now can we stop the Dr. Phil stuff and tell me what we are doing for Grace's birthday in two weeks."

"Wait one last question. You said you aren't ready for a family yet, but what about making it more permanent for the two of you?"

"You really aren't going to stop asking until I tell you, are you?" Danny just looked at him. "Open the glove compartment and grab my spare ankle hostler."

Danny opened the glove compartment and pulled out the hostler confused. He looked at it and noticed that in the hostler there was a little black box. "Are you serious? This is very serious. You are proposing to Catherine."

"Yeah. We talked about starting a future together, so yes I am planning on asking her to marry me."

"So when are you going to ask?" Danny opened the box and looked at the ring.

"I don't know; whenever, the moment arises."

"Damn, this is a huge ass diamond. How much did this cost?"

"What do you mean? The diamond isn't that big. I just saw it in the window when I got back from Mumbai, and I knew that this would be what Catherine wanted."

"Are you kidding me. This diamond is 2 carats, ideal cut, with G color, and VS1 clarity. This is an expensive diamond."

"Are you a jeweler now? I got this diamond reset from one of my grandmother's necklaces."

"I learned a lot about diamonds after all those diamond heists we have dealt with. And I thought that you said you saw it in the window."

"Well I did, but then I realized that it would mean more if I used something that meant something to me, so I decided to use my grandmother's diamond. Now are we going to go get this interview done or what?"

Several weeks later Catherine and Steve sat out on the beach cooking steaks and watching the surf and the sunset. She looked at him "How do you feel finding out that Wo Fat was taken down by NCIS Special Ops Unit yesterday?"

Steve had just returned this morning from confirming the identity in the morgue in LA. "I am happy that it's over, but it still leaves more questions than answers. I mean who is Shelbourne and why was my father killed? I can't even get anymore answers out of Joe since he left."

She rubbed her hand on his back. "I'm sorry. Do you want me to put out some feelers to try and find him?"

"No, I am ready to be done with all this stuff. I want to move on with the next chapter in our lives."

They ate dinner and then cleaned up. Steve brought out chocolate, graham crackers and marshmallows.

Her face lit up "You remembered."

"Of course I remembered. You used to talk about s'mores all the time at Annapolis and every time we were at a bonfire." She laughed and kissed him. He pulled out two sticks and they toasted some marshmallows. She ate three of them while he was still toasting his first one. He finished his s'more and redirected his attention to her. He reached his hand into his pocket confirming that it was still in his pocket. He moved to kneel in front of her. "Lieutenant Catherine Rollins, I have loved you for years and I can't imagine my life without you. Will you marry me?"

Her eyes clouded up "Yes, Steve, yes I will marry you. I love you too." He slid the ring on her hand and pulled her in for a kiss.


End file.
